my beautifool?

Today, I talked to Shafiq.
We talked about stuff.
Then he mentioned that the Emma picture down there? Makes her look FAT at her stomach.
Being a girl, I gotta defend my homegirl.
Especially if I think she looks extremely hot in it. And I still do.
At first, I thought it's a guy thing, ya know.
Scrutinise. Scrutinise. Scrutinise. Every inch. All they want is perfect pretty girls. Doesn't matter if they don't have brains or personality. I thought he was being shallow. (Sorry)
I thought you look for personality, I retorted.
Well, it's kinda hard for me to know her personality, he replied oh-so wittily.
Pish. I have a guilty pleasure. I enjoy being the one with the smart comebacks.
But he's got a point. I am guilty of gushing and eyeing my school's german exchange student. And I don't even know his name! Am guilty.
(Why do I have to make everything so personal?)
But I still stand on the fact that she does NOT look fat at all. Because she isn't. Geez. I was tempted to say that guys like you are the reasons we have Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie insanely thin.

Then, much much later, Farisa IMed me. She said that she could finally see my Emma picture. And suddenly she typed
she looks like she has fat waist in that picture
I typed back
Oh my gawd. You're the 2nd person who said that!
She typed
It's the positionlah. The shot. The position. She doesn't look hot in there.
I couldn't argue with Farisa. For one, she's a girl and girls don't argue about these kinda things. And she's a bigger Emma fan than I'll ever be. So, maybe, she has a point.

But honestly, this isn't about Emma having a fat waist or not. Besides, it's getting kinda boring.
It's about what's beautiful in YOUR eyes.
Anyone who knows me or at least reads my blog knows that I am currently having a Robert Pattinson a.k.a HOT STUFF fetish. I've been known to like sorta-different kinda guys. Chester Bennington. Elijah Wood. I thought Robert's hotness is universal. But apparently, not.

Farisa hates him with a passion. But I think that's only because I said Viktor Krum looks beefy and remind me of beef burger. And she's eternally hooked only on dorks.

Diana is just. Blergh. What is wrong with you, girl. You know he's hot!

Miza said that his jaw is weird. What. The. Not just a guy thing, I guess.

Shameen is my babe! She's on my side. I'm not on hers though. With her unhealthy obsession on that Simple Plan's vocalist.

Gg. Can't remember. But I've never really considered much about what she said of male celebs. She's only for Josh Hartnett. And Fawwaz-y. (Omg, Brokeback Mountain! Want to see, g? I know you're a bit homophobic but just teman me lah!)

I am a personality girl. Ok, great features catch my eye but personality stays.

I told a guy friend once that I buy books by cover. Sometimes, JUST because of the cover. And I'll pick the one with the prettiest cover from all of its editions.

Because it makes my shelf look pretty. What's wrong with that??

Then he said (wittily), now we know how she's gonna choose her boyfriend, huh?
I laughed. But I pressed on about the personality shindig.
I think a guy that has a great personality will end up looking beautiful to me in the end, I replied sorta holier-than-thou-ish.
He just rolled his eyes and laughed.
I joined him because I think it's kinda cheesy.

Now, if I'm still in contact with him, I could've prove him wrong. Because when I think about the last guy I had a crush on, I remembered the reason why I liked him in the first place.
He is so like me - personality-wise - that it's kinda dejavu-ish.
Scary in a nice way.
Unexpected and kinda surprising in some ways.
The nice sort of surprise.
We're both Arieses.
According to Azfar, Arieses can connect nicely with each other. I guess that's why me and Azfar are kinda close.
We both have tempers that we quickly hide.
I heard love songs singing
I want somebody more like me..
And I just think... maybe?

I guess what bummed me the most is that all I've thought of
Didn't happen.
Because when I'm really into something, I'm super productive.
Just imagine all the energy gone to waste...
So that's how the book ends
Nothing but good friends.
Though I think we can never be JUST friends.
But I'm sure he would disagree. After all, he was the one who sang to me, friends forever.

why didcha built me up, buttercup baby, just to let me down? and mess me around. and worse of all, you never called, baby, when you say you will. but i love you still.

I've grown up.
And figured that things happen.
I don't think I could hate him because it's not exactly his fault, isn't it?
It's no one's fault, really.
I'm so jaded now.
This is probably the only post left about him that I willingly posted on the net.
I guess, I used to care about what he thinks of me.
I guess, I used to care what he thinks about what I think about him.
I hate using past tense.

But now, I couldn't care.
I respect his choice that he wanted, for now, to be just friends.
Now, it's my choice.
I don't think he cares.

To be friends forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

-- All these stemmed from Emma's fatty waist. Imagine that!