crushed? hah! bloody unlikely!

I am trying to find every excuse to talk to him.
And so far, there isn't any.
I wonder if he caught me staring with a stupid grin on my face.
I could see his face clearly from here.

Sea BLUE.

This is not a crush.
It's a fascination.
The kind of high you get when you see a blond hottie on the movie screen.
The kind that makes a smile creep on your face and makes you giggle afterwards because it's so silly.
The kind that makes your heart skip a beat but then your eyes wander off soon enough.
The kind that you won't mind gushing to your friends out loud or even to pure strangers.

I'm not such a naive girl after all. I know all that fairytale-inspired romance movies hardly happen to anyone. So, why do I pine for this one when all my serious-as-drama ones didn't work out so well either? Maybe that's why I like it - it won't work out. I won't ask him to the prom or anything. He obviously won't ask me. Nothing will happen. We're as perfect as strangers and I like to stay that way.

What if I got closer and find from one flaw to another?
Like I always do?
And before I could stop myself
I would come to the conclusion that he's not worth it.
He's not that great.
He's not as I expected.
He's actually just a selfish asshole.
That kinda stuff.

Mahfuz once complained to me that why do I go for this guy?? I hardly knew him, I don't know how's he's like, I don't even bother to go up to him and get to know him etc. etc.

Oh dear friend, I wish I could just snap to you, at least I'm not crazy enough to flirt with every gorgeous person I see. Pfft.

But I guess that's what I like about him.
He's this perfect stranger.
Not perfect as in he's generally flawless.
But for now, he's got nothing going against him.
I stress
On the fact that this is definitely not a crush.
Just a fascination of the opposite sex.
Get those lil' hormones working a bit.

But I guess that the greatest part of him is that
he will never be close enough
to break me
he will never be there or about
so I don't have to fret about waiting
he will always be the 'german guy'
nothing more than a perfect stranger.

Perfectly distant and unavailable. Just the way I like it.

-- Tell me when posts like these are getting kinda dull.