prom

Tomorrow is prom and well, no feelings yet.

I don't know. This year is a sort of reality check for me so I'm not exactly expecting a movie-moment sort of prom. I don't know. I guess I sort of have a high expectation of prom. I mean, c'mon, I even said to Zhang Rei last time that prom is 'THE BIGGEST EVENT IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL LIFE'. You can practically hear the capitals of the words when I said them. That was in January 2006. Now, in December 2006, the enthusiasm sort of died. Like, murdered off, more like it. It's a gradual process.

I guess I have an issue about my prom date. Or seat filler. Or whatever. I don't even know whether to call him my date or what. When people asked me who my date is, I am always tempted to say, "Well, technically, my initial date sorta backed out due to something that couldn't be solved so... I'm going out with him instead. As friends. So it's ok." It's just that people think date equals love is in the air and all that shit. And thats pretty much far from the truth. haha. It's not like I don't like the guy or anything. It's not like I think he's gonna be a bad date or anything. I mean, I'm not in the place to complain. I'm somewhat glad that he's free and hadn't bought a ticket yet but...

It's the... whole thing! The execution! Here's the explanation:

Me: So you going or not?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Seriously. With me tau.
Him: Yeah.
Me: Ok then.
Him: Alright.

... Can anything be less heartfelt than that? Can anything be any more romantic?! It's just so... far from anything fluffy about prom! It's so unfluffy! It's so blah! It's like, I'm asking him whether he wants a ride to tuition or something. Heck, even if this dialogue was with some other guy, I would feel the same. Is the blahness going to continue in the prom night itself? It'll be worse because everyone will be all self-conscious. Garh. I'm not exactly expecting anything fluffy from him. I can't imagine honestly and don't want to. Our friendship is so platonic that anything different would probably push it to self-combust.

I just want the fluffy! The whole heebeejeebees. The mix of fear and excitement. The whole 'get wowed by your date' thing. The official prom date picture. The whole dateness of it all. THE FLUFFY DAMMIT.

Ok, I'm sure those strong prom-believers would go all, there's more to prom, darling.

YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT!

Ok, the clothes. Now, you see, most people are going to be excited about the clothes. I am - for awhile. Then I realise that most probably, my initially great outfit is going to be drowned by the lingeries that are going to be worn at that night with the excuse for a dress. They will wear clothes bought in shops like La Senza. haha. Yeah, but my outfit isn't screaming hot or anything. And I wear a tudung. For some people, that puts a damper in the party already. Also minus a hot bod. This is depressing.

Then, the crowd. Friends. Yeah well. They were there for Sumbangsih right? And Setia Night. And Unity Dinner. So, I'm guessing, my brain isn't focusing much on the friends here.

So, now it comes down to... well there's nothing to look forward here, is there?

And there's fucking form 2's!!! What the hell are you doing here?! GO HOME KIDS!!

-- since Disagree is coming so why can't I wear my jeans and my shirt and mosh??