random thoughts of life and so on so forth

i think i curse too much. i refer to things as 'crap' even though i don't think they're crap at all. it's funner to say that rather than 'thingy' or 'stuff'. everyday, it's either 'shit' or 'hell' or 'crap' or all three. remember 'fudge'? i used to be so innocent. who corrupted me??

i don't want to leave high school but i know there's nothing that high school can offer to me anymore.

real world. i can't imagine how the real world is like and having REAL RESPONSIBILITIES.

the crappy thing about some of my school subjects that they are so shitty that i just can't score them. people keep saying i am being negative and the negativity is blocking my brain from accepting new information. isn't that a big fest of irony?? you hate it because it's shitty, it's shitty because you hate it. hah. catch-22.

i dont want to lose my high school friends. i know some of them since primary school - way back till standard1. what's it going to be like to not see them forever? what if fifi got married with her boyfriend and i am not there? what if diana finally got herself a boyfriend and i'm not there? and my classmates that i adore? we're so not gonna see each other again. we're not. because we aren't that close to keep in touch.

i haven't cried for weeks.

i feel calm and rational when you're NOT around.

i am sorry if i made it seem like something is happening. nothing's going on. i keep thinking about what i am doing to her. is it selfish or just a convenience?

sometimes i really wish you would stop lying to me. sometimes you seem to care... then i don't exist again.

i hate prefects!!! i just want to shoot one of them! relax, azfar, i'm not talking about you. ahaha.

apparently, my blood is type a+. i got it checked. haha. a funny and long story.

i hate vitamin c's graduation song because it keeps reminding me of what's going to happen. shut up vitamin c! you're 36! you're too old to graduate!

i feel like crying when i think of school.

i had my last assembly this morning.

i think i am going to bawl by the end of this week.

-- do you know where are you going to go?