can you keep a secret?

Honestly, I think I make a great secret keeper. I'm not bragging (ok, I am...) but keeping secrets comes naturally for me. It's not bad. Not really. I mean, ok, sometimes it sucks because you just feel like you wanna explode. But sometimes, I don't do it on purpose. It's just that sometimes, things that happen to me doesn't seem such a biggie. So, I just don't talk about it. I mean, god, I don't tell everyone EVERYTHING that happened to me. Maybe I just don't crave attention that much? I don't know. It's kinda pathetic anyways...

It drives my girlfriends crazy though. haha.

For example, if I told them some random dude used to have a thing for me, they would just stare or gasp or go 'ooooh!!' and then they would shriek, 'Why didn't you tell us earlier???'. Honestly, I don't know why either. I would think really hard and then just go, 'Entah. No reason.'. And they would just shriek again and said something like they will now always ask me what's going on with my life. Even my blog doesn't hold much of the stuff I keep inside my head. Maybe I just think it's nothing?

I mean, if the guy is rather insignificant, then why bother with the hoopla? Why go and say that random dude has a 'supposingly' crush when I just pretty much don't give a damn about him in the first place? Yeah, ok, maybe when you find out about him, you will look at him differently from now on but seriously, at the end of the day, he meant nothing to you. I mean the attention is all good (I won't even deny that! haha) but somehow, you just don't see anything beyond that. But probably the reason I don't tell my friends about this kind of stuff is because they would - consciously or subsconciously - try to hook me up with the dude. Even though I have made it clear that I'm not interested. I think they're tired of my single status more than I do! hahahhaha!

I mean, gosh, Farisa even made a vow to me that she will matchmake me with someone. If you have that kind of thing against you, you'd keep secrets too.

Anyway, why am I talking about secrets, you ask? Have you ever watched All-American Reject's videoclip? The 'Dirty Little Secret' song? Or something sounds like it? Yeah well, in the video clip, there are people holding up various postcards. And instead of pictures of sceneries, they've got statements on them like: 'I only love two of my three children' or 'I know this is disgusting but I like the smell of my poop'.

I am not making this up! hahah. But even before that videoclip existed, those postcards existed before then. Actually it's an 'ongoing community art project where people mail-in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard'. Interesting isn't it? Some of these postcards are really shocking. As in 'oh my god!' kinda shocking. Some are permanently asid-etched into my brain because of their content. Honestly, they're brutally honest and if I were some of them, I really would want to remain anonymous. They're so dramatic sometimes that you can't help to be addicted to it. Everybody loves secrets, right?

Be forewarned that some of the words or images might disturb you but you'll get hooked anyways. It's like, some sort of a new type of soapopera or reality tv show: www.postsecret.blogspot.com. It updates weekly so there might be days where you'll be looking at the same postcards.

But you can go to this livejournal community that's just as the same as the blog but livejournal users can just send in their 'secrets' by email. It's way easier that way and it actually has a memory so you can look through the past 'secrets'. I'm not sure whether non-lj users can go and surf through it though.

You can tell that I am hooked. It's bad I told you! It's like a car accident, you can't help to stare. But honestly, don't take a peek at it if you're not comfortable with something that are above PG-13. Seriously, the last thing I want you to do is to stare at your computer screen shell-shocked and dumbfounded. And I don't want to be the one responsible to do that. SO BE WARNED. And if you think you don't want to be in that state : THEN DON'T, DAMMIT. Curiousity kills the cat remember?

the lj community

My favourite secret has to be this: "I'm sorry to say but your son is actually your brother."

Why did I like it? Because it actually took me A LONG time to figure what it actually meant. And when it finally hit me, I was like 'GASP!!! OH MY GOD.'

Am addicted. This is not good. I hate being addicted to stuff.

-- In the lj community, there's a surprising amount of Hanson fans in there. I don't know they're so... addictive back then. Are all suicidal depressive Hanson fans?? I don't know.